What is that feeling keeping you down? That sickening feeling of fear growing inside you, telling you you’re not good enough, pretty enough, or strong enough. That you’re not that kind of person who knows how to make money.
Taunting you, “What are you thinking, trying to become an entrepreneur? Are you crazy?”
Many of us allow fear to control us, dictating and influencing the steps we make and the journey we take. But what is it inside OF us that pushes us through that fear, ignores that feelings of self-doubt, and helps us overcome fear and do what we want anyway?
I’ve been pondering that today (and many other days) – because as you probably guessed, this story is about my own experience.
My story is actually very simple. I grew up with a mom and a dad. My mom was a homemaker and my dad was a hard worker who was not around much because of his business. Overall, I had a good childhood, and the messages I received were that women are better at being homemakers and raising kids than being out in the workforce. My parents were amazing people, but this was their lifestyle and all they knew. Like many of our parents, they did the best they could with what they had. I’m not here to blame them for the messages they gave me, I’m here to recognize them, and work with them.
I’m here to learn from the lessons, and grow in a different way.
And perhaps, build a new set of messages that serve to empower me, and then spread the wisdom so that others can break away from their old and unuseful set of messages as well.
I grew up believing I was meant to be a mom and a homemaker. When I met my ex-husband, he seemed really perfect; a hard worker, caretaker, and a sweet, supportive guy. He was the most incredibly kind-hearted person I had ever met in my life. But when I look back, I have this guilty feeling in my gut knowing that I chose him so that I could be a homemaker while he took care of the financials in the house. And for a long time this dynamic worked very well. He must have had a different belief. One that pushed him to work hard and take care of his family.
Imagine how terrified I was when I started thinking about divorce.
How will I be able to take care of myself financially? How will I be able to take care of the kids? What if I end up homeless? It sounds so ridiculous but in my head it was a real fear. So today, I think about what makes me brave enough to go with my gut.
What is this deep feeling that I have that makes me push through? I search for that within myself and try to connect to the courageous place within me.
I feel that everybody has that bravery somewhere within them. I feel that my clients have it within them to push through the fear and experience the birth they dream of. And after their birth, they push through the fear and feel confident becoming the mother they are meant to be. They push through doubts and read the research and make decisions for themselves and for their children that are right for them and they take responsibility.
All of a sudden, they own their motherhood, pushing past the fear that once consumed them.
But how do we find it? What do we need to do in order to accomplish our goals and have more courage than fear?
I believe what it takes is to sit quietly and dig deep to find the seed, the authentic place within us where we let our walls down, that is full of life and courage. The soul and spirit that pushes us to follow our dreams and to conquer our goals. This is, essentially, the core of yoga and the reason most people practice quieting the mind so that we can clearly see the true reflection of who we are and how beautiful and powerful we become when we shed the fear and pain of the past.
So, for myself, the fear arises often and often I have to quiet my mind a little and ask myself why. Why I’m willing to face this fear and be brave enough to overcome it.
And then I find the notebook where I can write down my strength and talents and everything positive that I feel I have.
And when I look at that list, I’m able to connect better with my seed and with myself – bringing about a feeling that is bigger than my fear and my insecurities.
And all of a sudden, a light within me starts shining a little brighter and encourages me to keep going.